The Cowboy State Update

All the news that spits. Ripped from the headlines, spun around and let fly like a cow patty frisbee.

This is not Harriet Hageman
Politics

Hageman Endorses The Former Guy

Harriet Hageman, the surprise winner of the 2022 Wyoming Congressional seat, announced today that she was endorsing Donald Trump for president in 2024.
"I'm proud to announce that I'm endorsing Trump for president in 2024," Hageman said at a press conference. "I owe him a lot. After all, he was the one who endorsed me in 2020, and that's the only reason I won."
When asked why she thought Trump would make a good president, Hageman said, "Well, he's already been president once, so he must know all the secret codes and stuff, right?"

the real story...
February 16, 2023 1 mins to read
Fashion

Wyoming Legislators Take Steps to Protect Citizens from Dangerous Sartorial Knowledge

In order to protect Wyoming citizens from the hazardous effects of knowledge, state legislators have unanimously voted to ban all books about proper business attire.
The move comes after much consideration from state legislators, who were concerned that the information within these books could lead to an increase in economic prosperity, which could be considered a threat to the state's current economic status.
"We had to act," said a Wyoming House Representative. "It's just too dangerous to let our young people learn how to dress professionally, or they might wander off to New York."

January 29, 2023 1 mins to read
Politics

Wyoming Closer To Being First State To Issue Useless Idiotic Funny Money To Make Them Feel Smart

The state of Wyoming is apparently planning to be the first state in the nation to issue its own cryptocurrency, a stablecoin called BroncoCoin.
The news sent shockwaves through the financial world, with observers marveling at the state's boldness. "It's remarkable," said one analyst. "Wyoming has always been a conservative state, so it's quite a surprise to see them gambling their reputation on a risky Crypto scheme."
But the bill's sponsors remain unapologetic. "After all," said one legislator, "we ride wild broncs here, so we're used to losing our teeth as well as our shirts."

January 27, 2023 1 mins to read
CPU Cowboy
Politics

Super Computer to Take Charge of Wyoming Legislature

In a move that stunned Wyoming voters, the Cheyenne NCAR Super Computer has been named to lead the new Wyoming legislature.
The move, announced today by Wyoming Governor Mark Gordon, marks the first time in history that a computer has been chosen to lead a state legislature. "We believe that the NCAR Super Computer is the perfect choice to lead the Wyoming legislature," said Governor Gordon, "It's faster, smarter, and more efficient than any of our human legislators, and it will use actual facts to make decisions."

January 1, 2023 1 mins to read

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Poetry Section

Oh, I'm a cowboy, ridin' my horse through the plains
Searchin' for somethin' that's gonna make gains
I heard about crypto and it sure sounded nice
I'm saddling up and rolling the dice

Crypto Cowboy, I'm the king of the range
Tradin' in tokens on the blockchain
Crypto Cowboy, I'm gonna make it big
Ridin' the markets with my minin' rig